Silent Night

03/01/05

I am standing in the dark; only the full moon that gives us light. My best friend is sitting on the chair, puffing Marlboro light and watching the heavy snow falling. Cold breeze perpetuates a silent moment.

His father is seriously ill and in a great pain. His mother is agonized of losing her husband. My best friend is the only son and he feels heavy responsibilities on this shoulder.

Tears are an outlet of grief and suffering.

It is the moment of truth. The moment that I need to console him; however, I am speechless. I am not sure if I should just listen to him and allow him to express his pain or I should say something that it might end up upset him more.

I choose to say less. The only thing I say is everything will be all right and I ask him to be strong for his mother and himself.

I promise I will be strong for him as well.

It is 2.30 am. Most of residents here are in a dreamland. We are still talking in the dark.

The picture of the snow flakes whitening the whole yard is very beautiful but lonesome.

We both are looking out of the window. I know the best thing for me to do right now is to be silent besides him. I am absorbing his pain and suffering. I wish I could share those feelings with him.

He is like a brother to me. When I heard of my sister had cancer, he was the only one who prayed for me.

I know he will be the last one who will abandon me and I will be the last one who will leave him.

The silent night reminds me words of wisdom.

We should value every moment we have with someone we love. Time is running out and it will never turn back. Do our best to show them how much we love them. Cherish the time we have left together. Do not regret for what we have done, but we will only regret for what we have not done.

We are all like flame that is still alive because we still keep burning our fuel until we use it all up.

The silent night make me miss my mother dearly. I am not sure how long her fuel will keep her flame burning. Nevertheless, I know one thing, no matter how much time I am given to be with her, I will value and make the best out of it. I will make her happy. I will make her proud of me. I will be strong enough to stand in this world even on those days that I will not have her besides me anymore.

At 3 am, I am still standing silently in the dark. We have no words to say but I just want to make sure that he knows that I will always be here for him no matter what will happen.