Just read the interview of Kate Hudson in Time Magazine. In her interview, she said monogamy was unrealistic.

The day before, I talked to one of my friends who is struggling about the idea of open relationship when he and his boyfriend have come to the point of so called- sexual recession period. He does not want it but to keep this relationship afloat, he thinks, he will have to do it. My question to all my friends that night was, “Is open relationship is inevitable in the gay relationship?”

Recently, ethnologists and anthropologists believe that only 1-2% of all species maybe monogamous (Angier, 1990). Our closet relatives, the chimpanzees, practice a form of group marriage. In human society, the vast majority (83%) do not practice monogamy. But infidelity is much more subtle in human being than animals.

Is monogamy unrealistic?

I think it is realistic, in particular, for the human species because we have the factors of social norms and morality to control our own natural instinct.

Monogamy is more realistic to female than male, in particular, in human species. Men are more sexual than women and the force of nature to spread their genes and to seek sexual pleasure are much stronger than women.

Unlike animals, humans tend to have different partners for sexual pleasure. So to be monogamous can be very difficult.

However, I am not advocating the polygamy. I believe monogamy is realistic and I believe there are plenty couples out there who are practicing monogamy.

Come back to the gay relationship, none of the gay couples that I have encountered practicing monogamy. They might have monogamous relationship for the first 3 years but they have an open relationship after that (but I am sure there are some gay couples in monogamous relationship).

I guess a man and a man are different than a man and a woman. Men are sexual predators, if I may say.

There are plenty of straight couples who have sex with someone else beside their partner as well. However, while most gay couples are open about the open relationship and most of the times both of them agree on it, straight couples tend to keep it secret from each other and their non-monogamy practice is more subtle than gay.

Personally, I believe monogamy or polygamy is a choice not a natural rule, at least for humans.

Tae Athikomvittaya