I really feel I have lived all my life for someone I love. I think I have sacrificed whatever I have to make someone I love happy. I have never complained even when I do not agree or I am not happy, the most thing I do is to keep quiet and most of the time they know I am frustrated.

Sometimes there is something I really want to do, but I just simply cannot do it because I am not allowed to do so. And I do not want to argue with them. Why do I care so much to someone I love dearly? I know I have done everything I can, and I say everything I really do. They do not have to tell me what I have to do, but I just do whatever I can do if I know it will make them happy. Most of the time, I am very happy and honor to make them happy but sometimes I feel like what about my own life? I try to please everyone but how about my own feeling? I keep quiet and try not to show it. The dreadest thing in my life is to see someone I love sad and I cannot live up to my promise. I try to be good; I try to put a happy face to cover what inside is, sometimes, dying. Sometimes I want to run away but I just cannot. I just love them too much.
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All my life, I vow I will live my life to make someone I love happy and I always keep my own promise. But sometimes I am being suffocated with my own desire to be free, with my own desire to fly away at least for a while to the world I want to be.

Sometimes I just feel selfish and horrible about myself whenever I have even the only glimpse of that thought of running away. Then again, I just cannot imagine my life without someone I love. My life would not make any sense without them.

But now I feel like crap. I feel like I am betraying someone I love by thinking of myself flying to the free world. I am chained by love. And I know I would be willing to be a lamb on the table that would be sacrificed for them anytime.

I love you but does life belong to me or others?

Tae Athi