There are many times that the outcomes of my personal relationships with people around me turn sour. No matter what I do or no matter how much I try, the situations do not get better.

Sometimes, I wonder if the problems are from me or from the people around me.

Buddhism teaches me to think in a different angle. I am the one who has to take responsibility to whatever happen in my life, whoever I bring into my circle and situation I am living in.

It is easier to blame on other people for our own misery than to admit that most of the time it’s our own misery that plays the important part in the bad situation.

Once I believe that my problems stem from other people, I do not see the way out. My impulsive solutions to the situation are the reactions to respond to the actions I have received. Like I throw a ball to the wall, the bigger force I put, the stronger of the ball bouncing back at me.

One day when the crisis is looming and the situation is getting worse, I decide not to continue this situation. I determine to change it to the root of the problems. I know I am the one who needs to change. Like Gandhi said we must be the change we wish to see in the world. To scale that grand idea back to the personal life, I believe I have to change to whatever I want to see in my life.

In Buddhism, we believe every life, no matter how small or how big it is, is connected to each other. One small action will affect people around us like a ripple effect. We are taught to take a responsibility no matter if they are good or bad.

In this equation, I am a variable number and people around me are fixed numbers. If I want another side of the equation become a positive number, I have to be a positive number myself. If people around me are negative numbers, I have to be the positive one. The more negative number they are, the more positive number I have to be.

In this equation, it is up to me to be a positive number or a negative number.

In this equation, it is up to me to transform the outcome of my situation.

Tae Athikomvittaya