On My Way Back to New York City (Part II)

03/12/07

2 pm.

The plane is crossing Chucki Sea at 362261 ft altitude. If a palace of God indeed locates in heaven, we are so closed to him now and maybe he can hear my prayer better and he might grant my wish.

“Can you take ten years of my life and give it to my sister please. And I do not care if I will have just a year or two left. Our life is written by the same hand that also gives us life. Please kindly rewrite our life story.

Please take good care of her when I am away,
Please tell her I will be with her always,
May strength arise in her broken heart,
May my prayer be with her whenever we are apart.

Please hold her when the day is too lonely,
Please show her light when the night is too dark,
Close your eyes sweetie,
I will sing you a song of sweet lullaby.

3 pm

Just finish reading the Wall Street Journal and the Nation. I used to read Wall Street Journal and New York Times everyday but lately I don’t. I think I need to read a lot more, lately I feel like I have not read that much and I have tons of books in my room that 80 percent I have not read it! Damn me. I need to get very serious with my life again after I have been living in such a la la land for 3 years here. I have achieved a big part of my wildest dream. In retrospect, I am very happy about it but now I want more. My situation now does not satisfy me anymore. But firstly what I have to do is to fundamentally rearrange my life and spend my time more wisely. Gosh I feel like I will have tons to do – looking for a job in Thailand, reading, traveling, friends, gym and volunteering.

4:30 am (NY Time)

Damn my baby Ipod goes to sleep, what I am going to do.

Just one hour away from JFK, I am having the last meal. I have to say besides the service and food from Japan Airlines, Thai Airways might be the runner up in both areas.

We are reaching NYC but I am freaking excited after my absence for four months. I am going to have a big welcome party this Saturday and Roxy, the legendary club, will be closed for good so we have a big plan to dance our night away. I feel like I am flying back to live in my own independent world. I will live my life like I want to do with my own good friends. But I feel a little awful and selfish. While I am going to live my own independent life, my family wants me to be there. Now I decide to spend my last year in this great city and great friends. I will make the best out of it here and then move back to be with them without any regret.

5 am.

The plane is landing, the captain says the temperature in NYC is about -10c, gosh my ass will be frozen once I step off the airport. Not sure if two of my friends who are going to pick me up will get the email from me that the flight schedule has changed. I hope so. If not I will have to call the cab in this snowy weather by myself. My nerve is running wild now.

I miss my family dearly. What’s going to happen? I don’t know. But one day at a time, I believe whatever happen in my life will be the best for me if I do my best now.

Let life flow with the wind of destiny,
Let mind go to the land of no worries,
Keep your own faith and believe in your intent,
Look up and follow the fate to every continent,
Dance to the music of fate,
Let your heart never be afraid,
Enjoy when we are suffering and happy,
Because it’s part of our journey.

Tae Athikomvittaya