With its short life cycle and multiple reproduction; cockroach might be the last specie that will survive if indeed a nuclear war happens.

Cockroach is, I would say, my most formidable enemy. No matter how much I try, I cannot overcome my fear when I am encountering them particularly on one on one basis. I think I might have a cockroach-phobia syndrome (CPS) (I name it myself by the way).

Once my radar detects any cockroach within 1 foot, I start getting paranoid. I cannot sit still. My mind cannot concentrate. My head keeps looking back and forth. I remember one night I saw a cockroach in my bedroom and the whole night I could not sleep. I kept looking for it and finally I found it standing still on the wall. It was 4 a.m. and I did not want to wake my neighbor up by hitting it, so I grabbed my mother’s hairspray and sprayed the whole bottle on that poor cockroach just to make sure that its legs and wings would never move again. Then I could go to bed.

As a Buddhist, I try my best not to take anyone’s life even ants or small insects. But there are some times I have to violate my own moral code with this creature when it crosses into my territory.

I have a lot of battles with cockroach but most of the time they won.

Cockroach loves darkness and humidity. Thailand is the best place for them to breed. When I was young, one thing I hated the most was to go out to the backyard at night. One night my mom asked me to go get something for her, my nerve was going wreck. Once I stepped out, there were more than ten cockroaches on the floor and at least three cockroaches flying around the backyard. I felt like I was attacked by them both from the ground and the air. When they sensed my movement, they flew towards me like the Japanese airplanes attacking the American warship in the Pearl Harbor. But unlike the American warship, I raised a white flag right away by running back into my house with totally pale face.

It’s been 7 years since I live in the United States that I have not encountered with cockroaches that much. But lately, I often see two cockroaches in my kitchen. This cockroach couple has built up my paranoid syndrome. Lately, every time I go to the kitchen I have to turn on the light and stand still until I am sure there is no cockroach party on the floor. I have to blame on my roommate who always leaves food out. I think I have to go buy a cockroach trap in order to escort this cockroach couple out of my kitchen.

I do not want to be paranoid every time I use the kitchen or the bathroom.

Tae Athikomvittaya